3rd Wheel: The Rules About Social Interactions With Singles

Dave — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:06:08 +0000

Last night a couple of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to a bar and have a few drinks. Naturally I acquiesced and met up with them later that night. I was running a bit late so when I arrived they were already there. Except they weren’t alone…they had brought their new girlfriends along. Thanks, douchebags. This is fucking ideal. I went from being “one of the guys” to now the “5th person” on a double date. Ridiculous.

Time to go over the rules since it appears not everyone understands the subtleties of social interaction between single people and couples. There are some simple but very fundamental rules to follow when you couples mingle with single people.

Note: These are rules with respect to men. I don’t know the rules women have when it comes to this shit.

When it’s OK to hang out with your single friend:

When your girlfriend isn’t there
When your girlfriend is there, but she brought her hot friend
When your girlfriend is there but you’re going to a party where there will be numerous hot single chicks
When you’re also single

When it’s NOT OK to hang out with your single friend

Any. Other. Time.
Seriously, any other time is not acceptable

Steve thinks your a sack of shit, Gary

The less time single guys spend hanging out with inaccessible women the better. It’s really a massive waste of his time to hang out with you and your girlfriend. He doesn’t need a constant visual reminder that you’re getting some tonight. This is time he could spend picking up chicks or, if all else fails, wanking into a sock while watching America’s Top Model.

That is all.

The Birth Of Rantery

Dave — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:36:40 +0000

Comedy has its roots in dissatisfaction and a vast majority of comedy is really ranting. Getting shit off your chest to a large audience of people is what it’s all about. In an office with 2 comedians and a comedy writer (me) it’s hard not to imagine how many jokes are flung in a given day. It was only a matter of time before someone would come up with a website like this so I took it upon myself to make it happen.
My grandfather had a saying, it goes “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Admirable quote but it was clearly thought up before the internet generation and 24 hour news networks.
In this day and age, if you’re not ranting about something then you’re not living. There’s a lot to be pissed about: A pop star shaves her head and she gets more media attention than large scale military operations in the East, A half-retarded beauty pageant finalist is a US vice presidential nominee, Emo is still around… there is an endless list of topics to rant about.
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